It’s ok to not be ok

People know me as the person that’s always positive, happy and full of creating inspiration for others. ⁠⁠
When I’m not in this place people really notice it. It’s quite a contrast to the person I usually am.⁠⁠

Lately I have been in a place of not feeling myself. I have been feeling flat and experiencing a heavy feeling in my body. I have been in my head a lot and overthinking things. I have been taking on a lot and don’t know how to tell people that I need help. My energy gets drained and I feel exhausted. I put pressure on myself to be a super human – I think I need to hold it all together and be there for everyone that needs my support. What I’m not great at is allowing others to help me when I need it. In fact, I’m not even good my at asking for help. This to be has been ingrained in me from my corporate days as its taught that this is a sign of weakness and that I’m not capable or competent if I don’t have it all together. I’ve always wanted to be known as someone who is strong and has their shit together.⁠⁠

I’m working on not holding on, putting myself out there and letting people in. I spoke to a great friend of mine about how I have been feeling and had a cry. Getting it out of my head and speaking about it really helped. That friend gave me some incredible advice that this part of me, the person that feels down and sad sometimes is me – so me thinking that I’m not myself is not helping as that is me and its ok. Also said to take the pressure off. That helped ground me. It gave me perspective. ⁠⁠

Here is what I wanted to bring home:⁠⁠
- Its ok to not be ok⁠⁠
- How important it is to talk about what we are experiencing and feeling – creates a deeper connection with others and allows them to feel like they can help and contribute to you⁠⁠
- When we are truly in the work of development it means we are going to get uncomfortable it includes processing and experiencing different emotions as we build awareness and grow ⁠⁠

Straight Up, Amanda x

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